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April 22, 2021
For the sake of this article, we’ll assume you have 5 toys or less (if you have more than 5 toys, you should be pretty adept at hiding and storing your toys already) and that your toys are relatively normal-sized.
Let’s start by saying that owning a sex toy is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and there is really no need to hide them. We’re all adults here, and we like playing with adult toys. If you don’t yet, you don’t know what you’re missing.
With that being said, however, we understand the need for discretion and that you might want to avoid an awkward conversation with your kids, in-laws, parents, partner or pet.
Here are a few of our favourite hiding places:
Nothing kills the mood faster than having to rummage through your entire closet for your trusty rabbit, so keep your favourite toys, lube & condoms in a lockable bedside drawer for easy access. This way, your toys are always within arm’s reach, should they be needed.
However, if your drawer can’t lock, it obviously won’t be as discreet, in which case we recommend keeping your toys inside a soft cotton or satin pouch, away from prying eyes, just to be safe.
*WORD OF CAUTION: If you have kids, make sure you can lock your drawer.
A good friend even drilled holes in the back of her bedside drawer to fit charging cables through so her toys are always charged even when locked away. If your DIY skills are up to scratch and you want to go the extra mile, go for it.
Vanity cases are perfect for sex toy storage. Most of them are lockable, and they won’t look out of place on your dressing table; plus, they’re usually big enough to fit more than one toy.
You could also use a small suitcase with a travel lock or pick up one of those lockable aluminium cases from your local hardware. Just slip it under your bed or anywhere else where you’ll have easy access to it.
Those little cash lockboxes that people use to give you your change at markets and bazaars work really well if you’re only storing one or two toys and maybe a few other essentials like lube or condoms.
Just remove the plastic change tray, and there should be enough room for a decent-sized rabbit vibrator. They’re available from most stationery shops and will usually have a pretty sturdy key or combination lock.
The following ideas are probably not as discreet but will still get the job done
It’s highly unlikely that somebody will go snooping around under your mattress, and if you have space, under-bed storage boxes work like a charm. Your toys will also be readily accessible when you need them.
If you have a jacket or coat in your wardrobe that you don’t wear too often, you could easily hide your toys in their pockets, especially if the pockets have zips. Just make sure you empty them before a night out.
If you like larger handbags, more often than not, there will be a pocket on the inside lining that’s really handy for storing more “personal” items. Again, please be careful as this could lead to some awkward situations while going through customs.
Most of us don’t have anyone snooping in our underwear drawer regularly, so this is also a good place to hide your toys. You could also wrap them up in an old sweater or inside a thick woolly sock for extra protection.
An empty tampon box is a great place to store a sneaky bullet vibrator or other smaller-sized toys. Just be sure to keep the box somewhere where a friend in an emergency won’t be likely to find it.
Most stuffed toy animals will have a zip or button to keep the fluff inside. If it’s big enough, you could easily slip your trusty rabbit inside Mr Cuddles, and it won’t look at all out of place on or next tour bed. If your nickname is Mr Cuddles, I assure you this was purely coincidental.
Old shoeboxes have been trusty storage containers for ages, so why not use them for your sex toys? They’ll look completely in place under your bed or on top of your wardrobe if you have small kids, and it gives you a great excuse to buy a new pair of shoes.
It’s imperative always to clean your toys after use and to store them in a clean, dry place. You can read our extensive guide on how to clean your sex toys here.
The number one thing to keep in mind when storing your sex toys is that you will have to weigh up access vs privacy. As your collection grows, you’ll soon figure out which are your favourites.
Our advice is to keep these close, along with your condoms, lube, and any other essentials that you use regularly and keep your giant magic wand in storage or gun safe for special occasions.
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