Walk into a modern adult store and you will see something that would have surprised most people ten years ago. Couples. Not just young couples or newly dating couples. People in their late twenties juggling careers, parents in their thirties and forties trying to reclaim intimacy, long term partners in their fifties who have decided that pleasure deserves priority. At Lizzy Bliss, we see this every day. The shift is unmistakable. More couples are choosing to use sex toys together rather than treating them as secret, solitary tools.
This rise is backed by research. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine analysed the sexual experiences of 361 women who already used adult toys. The findings were clear. Women who used toys with a partner reported higher arousal, stronger orgasms and greater sexual satisfaction. These improvements were measured with validated clinical tools, not anecdotal opinion.
Study link: https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdaf004
Just as important, the study found no link between toy use and anxiety or depressive symptoms. This challenges one of the biggest fears we hear from men and women. The worry that toys interfere with natural pleasure or emotional intimacy. The evidence simply does not support this.
A quiet, growing confidence
When you speak to couples in our Pretoria store, a consistent picture emerges. Using a toy together is rarely about replacing anything. It is about connection. For many women, reliable clitoral stimulation during partnered sex is the missing piece. That might be through a small external vibrator like the We-Vibe Rave or a focused product such as the Womanizer Liberty Air Pulse Stimulator.
Men often express relief when a toy helps remove the uncertainty of trying to guess what works. It is easier to support a partner’s pleasure when both people participate actively rather than silently hoping for the best.
The study mirrors this lived experience. Women who used toys with partners reported stronger orgasms not only recently but across the previous six months. This was not a fleeting novelty. It became part of their natural sexual rhythm.
The role of communication
One of the biggest advantages of introducing a toy is the conversation that follows. You cannot bring a vibrating couples ring into the bedroom without asking at least one honest question. Should we try this setting? Does this feel better? Would you like more or less intensity?
That one moment of honesty often creates a new dynamic. Couples who previously struggled to talk about sex become more open, more comfortable and more collaborative. At Lizzy Bliss, we see couples return weeks later describing a noticeable improvement in both sexual and emotional connection.
The study also noted that women who used toys only on their own were more likely to have had an affair. Although the research cannot explain the reason, it suggests that unmet or unspoken sexual needs can quietly create distance. Shared exploration helps to close that distance.
Dismantling the fears
We hear the same concern repeatedly. Will a toy replace me? The evidence does not support this idea. Toys create sensations the body cannot always maintain on its own. They enhance connection rather than compete with it.
For many couples, a wand becomes the first shared toy because it is intuitive, reliable and effective for clitoral stimulation. The Rocks Off Oriel Wand Massager is a popular example that supports both solo and partnered play.
Another common fear is that toys will reduce natural arousal. Yet the study found no differences in anxiety, depression or emotional uncertainty between women who used toys with partners and those who used them alone. This tells us that toy use strengthens pleasure but does not harm psychological wellbeing.
Men benefit as well. A remote controlled vibrator can introduce playful moments outside the bedroom or add anticipation during date nights or travel. Many couples find this deepens their connection more than expected.
A South African perspective 🇿🇦
South Africa has its own relationship with sexual wellness. Many adults grew up with limited discussion around intimacy, especially female pleasure. When people come into Lizzy Bliss, they often bring questions they have carried for years. Once spoken aloud, those questions become liberating. Pleasure becomes a shared journey rather than something hidden or shameful.
We see this most clearly with couples who purchase their first shared item, often compact clitoral vibrator like a bullet vibrator. They frequently return to tell us how much more connected they feel and how much easier it has become to talk about sex openly.
For couples exploring anal play together, the Adrien Lastic Anal Plug offers a safe and comfortable introduction. For men who want to experiment with sensation in a personal way that can also be shared with a partner, many choose a stroker such as the Fleshlight Sleeve.
The important part is not the category of toy. It is the decision to explore it together.
A practical choice for modern relationships
For adults between twenty and fifty, life moves quickly. Work demands energy. Children reshape routines. Stress becomes a constant presence. Intimacy requires intention. Toys help create that intention without pressure. They make pleasure more reliable, more playful and more shared.
Couples who use toys together often rediscover the curiosity they had early on in their relationship. They pay more attention to each other. They communicate more. They feel more confident. The study supports what we see daily. Shared pleasure deepens connection, reduces stress and strengthens the relationship as a whole.
Bringing a toy into the bedroom is not a sign of dissatisfaction. It is a sign of willingness. It says, I want us to enjoy this and I want to explore it with you. That single choice can reshape not only sex but the emotional foundation of a relationship.